I never realized how many horrible beasts were lurking around my home until tonight!! I went most of the day doing pretty good. However, after dinner and I settled down for the evening, the munchies hit! Every where I turned there was another “horrible beast” (chocolate, candies, and/or cookies) out to get me! I kept finding the urge to simply grab one and eat it. I realized that obviously in the past I would do this without much thought as to why I was eating it. Like tonight, when I got the urge to eat something like that it wasn’t because of hunger, I’m not feeling down and needing comfort food, there was no feeling of wanting to reward myself. So why was i about to reach out and eat whatever was there. . . THAT’S IT!! It hit me in that moment, that I was going to eat it because “it was there”! We have become so accustomed to having these things lying around the house for those “once in a while” occasions, but what I didn’t realize is that those once in a whiles had become every night! I’m still not sure what it is about the evening that intensifies my urge to eat what’s there. I do feel it occasionally during the day, but after dinner the temptations were so great that I sat in a chair and tried to sleep just so I could avoid the temptations of thinking about it.
On a GREAT note, I accomplished staying within my calorie goal for the day. I did decide to have coffee this morning. I lowered my creamer amount to where it is only 30 calories, but I plan to phase out the creamer by the end of the week and for the first time in my entire life learn to drink black coffee!! I just can’t give up that hot cup in the mornings, even if it doesn’t taste like caramel macchiato! Which means until I have phase out the creamer that I have added 30 calories to my daily intake because I can’t skimp on my meals to make room for creamer. I just have to accept going over by 30. So with that in mind, I ended my day with a total of 545 calories, and the 15 over was my “free” cucumbers I had for a mid-morning snack. As long it is one of the “free” veggies then it’s allowed, and doesn’t count against my calories. I feel I just rambled a good bit there, sorry!
Part of my reason for doing this blog is to help me learn something about myself through this process and today I am beginning to learn how easy I have made it to continue my bad habit of late evening snacking. Tomorrow begins “Operation Horrible Beasts Throw Away”!
Another reason is because I know there are so many that struggle with weight and health issues. And I know when I struggle with something, it’s nice to know I’m not alone. That there are others fighting the same daily battles, sometimes winning and sometimes losing. But I have always said, I have not failed as long as I haven’t given up. I guess that’s my version of one of my favorite quotes, “I have not failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work” by Thomas A. Edison.
And of course the final reason for this blog is to help hold myself accountable. I don’t know how many, if any, are actually reading these but just knowing that someone could be reading these is what helped me fight the temptations tonight to grab a piece of chocolate. I knew I would have to tell “you” what I did! LOL So to whoever may be reading these, Thanks for holding me accountable!